You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” ― Eleanor Brownn
Taking the time to take care of ourselves, to do what we need to do, is not selfish. It is self love. It is recognizing that we deserve what we need and that what we need may not be what someone else needs or what is expected of us. Self-care is taking time to ourselves, and in turn saying "no" to others. It is admitting to ourselves that we can't do it all, and learning to find the bliss and peace in that rather than being disappointed in ourselves. It is eating right, going on a run and getting enough sleep. It is deciding to have a positive attitude and taking the time to talk to a friend when things get tough. It is asking for help. It is taking the time to meditate or sit in church - to do reflectively nothing. It can also be reading, painting, or going on a bike ride - doing.
Today is a day I need to take care of myself. I was supposed to go do outreach work with rough sleepers this morning, but my body just wasn't up to it. Seeing everything that I did in London in just 12 hours (after 5 hours of sleep) was amazing, but my hips & knees aren't wanting to cooperate. They need a good rest. How old did I turn this month? I need to get back into shape when I get home.
My mind is also in need of some recharging. I have just two weeks left of this trip. It has been amazing, and I know leaving will be bittersweet, as I have made meaningful connections and learned a lot in my time here. But I am homesick. I miss the people who I love the most. I miss the smell of home and the comfort of being in the town I grew up in. I miss the heat and humidity of the Cincinnati summer and porch talks & beers (12 packs, B and Taylor!). I miss dancing to Beyonce with the girls and late night trips out for sushi. I miss taking a stroll through Norwood while catching up with good friends.
I have to re-charge to enjoy and learn from the next two weeks. I'm going to sit outside and read, stretch my aching muscles, take a hot bath, and do some painting. There have been times in my life when I could ignore taking care of myself (like last summer during SSI) and still be super happy and at peace. There have also been times when I ignored what I need because I didn't want to take care of myself, but there were others there to do it for me. I can't do either of those things during this Brueggeman adventure, being away from home. It is a good lesson and reminder of the importance. I hope you are taking care of yourself too.
“Most of my life has been spent trying to shrink myself. Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less sensitive. Less opinionated. Less needy. Less me. Because I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want to be too much or push people away. I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be cared for and valued. I wanted to be wanted. So for years, I sacrificed myself for the sake of making other people happy. And for years, I suffered. But I’m tired of suffering, and I’m done shrinking. It’s not my job to change who I am in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. I am worthwhile. Not because other people think I am, but because I exist, and therefore I matter. My thoughts matter. My feelings matter. My voice matters. And with or without anyone’s permission or approval, I will continue to be who I am and speak my truth. Even if it makes people angry. Even if it makes them uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave. I refuse to shrink. I choose to take up space. I choose to honour my feelings. I choose to give myself permission to get my needs met. I choose to make self-care a priority. I choose me.”
― Daniell Koepke