It has been just over a week since I got back from England.
Traveling was stressful, as I had a lot of connections to make and worry more about such timing and details when I am alone. On Monday my landlord took me to the train station where I caught a train to Stafford and then another to Liverpool South Parkway. There were a million buses at the train station, but after receiving help from a few nice employees, I finally manged to get on the correct bus. I was at the airport WAY early, as I anticipated that at some point I would mess up and need the extra time. I spent a few hours in Starbucks reading Harry Potter before checking my bags and going through security. I enjoyed people watching almost as much (or more) than the book and a nice cup of coffee.
As I went through security I saw the Everton football team...which at first I mistakenly thought was England's world cup team. It was still pretty neat to see them in the airport and see how roweled up everyone was to see them. My bag got ripped apart in security, so it was a good thing I wasn't in a rush.
After security I had the most delicious pulled pork sandwich, french fries and a hard cider...once again, while reading Harry Potter. After dinner I got sick of being in the airport and was pretty tired (from doing nothing) but still had a while to wait on my flight. The flight was quick...about 45 minutes and I arrived in Dublin in time to catch the 11 pm bus to my hotel. The hotel was way too nice for only a few hours of sleep, but despite the comfy bed, I didn't sleep well because I was stressed about making my 55 minute connection in Chicago.
Long flight short, my travels back to the USA were both pleasant and restless. It was a very long day but I was lucky enough to sit next to a very friendly young woman on the plane who told me all about her engagement, wedding planning and first few years of being an English teacher. I also ate some really good food...for airline food at least. It seemed like they fed us 8 times during the 8 hour flight.
I caught my connection in Chicago with plenty of time and then the hour back to Dayton seemed like nothing. I was soooo happy to see my mom in Dayton and I didn't shut up on the car ride home..telling her everything I could think of about my travels the past two days and my last few weeks in England. My mom and I spent the next few days together... going on walks, making dinner and chatting about my life post- Xavier. I am so thankful for our relationship.
I became to feel a little restless at home, as much as I was enjoying being with my mom and seeing friends that I had missed. I didn't expect to feel this way, but I felt weird being home. I didn't think I would have to re-adjust to being home, but after living in a different reality for 7 weeks everything seemed....different. I avoided the feeling and avoided working on my Brueggeman project. Looking back, that probably wasn't the best choice....but it did allow me to enjoy my days with my mom while she was off work.
Monday I started my job as a graduate intern at Xavier's Center for Faith & Justice. This is when I realized how much I had been numbing myself to the weird and unwanted feeling of living a life of two different realities. The CFJ has been an important community for me throughout my time at Xavier and has really transformed the way I look at myself, the way I want to live my life, and the way that I want to engage with the world. Part of that has been changing my "realities" and my perspective. Being in the office and engaging with topics of faith, community, our Jesuit identity, and justice helped to center me and bring me back to who I am and what is important to me... whether in England, Fairfield, Cincinnati or anywhere. Being in this environment has given me courage to start to process and pick apart the experience that I had in England, much as I have been challenged to do in my undergrad career by the people and programs of the CFJ. Being home wasn't complete without being on campus and doing this work. I am so thankful to have a job that I am going to enjoy - that will both challenge me and be a place of home for me as I get to dive deeper into issues that make my mind turn and heart ache. It has been a great week to say the least.
Yesterday I also met with the Brueggeman director for the first time since I have been back. It was nice to get to sit down for a good amount of time and tell him how things went after all the time we spent talking about plans and what the trip could or might be. It is hard to explain to people what I experienced, but he is very familiar with my project so it was easier to go into some depth about what I was doing and experiencing. We talked a lot about the idea that people limit themselves to "jobs" when they really should be looking for opportunities instead of a position to fill. We discussed upcoming opportunities on campus this year for me to engage others in my topic and the ways that I can move my project far beyond a year experience with the center. I have a lot of hope that it has been a starting point for an adventure that will continue for much of my life....even without the certainty of when or how or what. Now I really sound like a Brueggeman Fellow!
As I was leaving the Brueggeman Center I ran into one of the other 2014 fellows. I cannot wait to talk to them all about their experiences and share my own. Some of us are meeting up tomorrow to have dinner. I am sure as I have more conversations and experiences over the next few weeks, the impact of my experience will unfold in new ways. I feel re-energized and motivated to work on my project and more. I plan to keep this blog throughout the school year, as my journey of life, adventure and learning about these topics will continue.
Traveling was stressful, as I had a lot of connections to make and worry more about such timing and details when I am alone. On Monday my landlord took me to the train station where I caught a train to Stafford and then another to Liverpool South Parkway. There were a million buses at the train station, but after receiving help from a few nice employees, I finally manged to get on the correct bus. I was at the airport WAY early, as I anticipated that at some point I would mess up and need the extra time. I spent a few hours in Starbucks reading Harry Potter before checking my bags and going through security. I enjoyed people watching almost as much (or more) than the book and a nice cup of coffee.
As I went through security I saw the Everton football team...which at first I mistakenly thought was England's world cup team. It was still pretty neat to see them in the airport and see how roweled up everyone was to see them. My bag got ripped apart in security, so it was a good thing I wasn't in a rush.
After security I had the most delicious pulled pork sandwich, french fries and a hard cider...once again, while reading Harry Potter. After dinner I got sick of being in the airport and was pretty tired (from doing nothing) but still had a while to wait on my flight. The flight was quick...about 45 minutes and I arrived in Dublin in time to catch the 11 pm bus to my hotel. The hotel was way too nice for only a few hours of sleep, but despite the comfy bed, I didn't sleep well because I was stressed about making my 55 minute connection in Chicago.
Long flight short, my travels back to the USA were both pleasant and restless. It was a very long day but I was lucky enough to sit next to a very friendly young woman on the plane who told me all about her engagement, wedding planning and first few years of being an English teacher. I also ate some really good food...for airline food at least. It seemed like they fed us 8 times during the 8 hour flight.
I caught my connection in Chicago with plenty of time and then the hour back to Dayton seemed like nothing. I was soooo happy to see my mom in Dayton and I didn't shut up on the car ride home..telling her everything I could think of about my travels the past two days and my last few weeks in England. My mom and I spent the next few days together... going on walks, making dinner and chatting about my life post- Xavier. I am so thankful for our relationship.
I became to feel a little restless at home, as much as I was enjoying being with my mom and seeing friends that I had missed. I didn't expect to feel this way, but I felt weird being home. I didn't think I would have to re-adjust to being home, but after living in a different reality for 7 weeks everything seemed....different. I avoided the feeling and avoided working on my Brueggeman project. Looking back, that probably wasn't the best choice....but it did allow me to enjoy my days with my mom while she was off work.
Monday I started my job as a graduate intern at Xavier's Center for Faith & Justice. This is when I realized how much I had been numbing myself to the weird and unwanted feeling of living a life of two different realities. The CFJ has been an important community for me throughout my time at Xavier and has really transformed the way I look at myself, the way I want to live my life, and the way that I want to engage with the world. Part of that has been changing my "realities" and my perspective. Being in the office and engaging with topics of faith, community, our Jesuit identity, and justice helped to center me and bring me back to who I am and what is important to me... whether in England, Fairfield, Cincinnati or anywhere. Being in this environment has given me courage to start to process and pick apart the experience that I had in England, much as I have been challenged to do in my undergrad career by the people and programs of the CFJ. Being home wasn't complete without being on campus and doing this work. I am so thankful to have a job that I am going to enjoy - that will both challenge me and be a place of home for me as I get to dive deeper into issues that make my mind turn and heart ache. It has been a great week to say the least.
Yesterday I also met with the Brueggeman director for the first time since I have been back. It was nice to get to sit down for a good amount of time and tell him how things went after all the time we spent talking about plans and what the trip could or might be. It is hard to explain to people what I experienced, but he is very familiar with my project so it was easier to go into some depth about what I was doing and experiencing. We talked a lot about the idea that people limit themselves to "jobs" when they really should be looking for opportunities instead of a position to fill. We discussed upcoming opportunities on campus this year for me to engage others in my topic and the ways that I can move my project far beyond a year experience with the center. I have a lot of hope that it has been a starting point for an adventure that will continue for much of my life....even without the certainty of when or how or what. Now I really sound like a Brueggeman Fellow!
As I was leaving the Brueggeman Center I ran into one of the other 2014 fellows. I cannot wait to talk to them all about their experiences and share my own. Some of us are meeting up tomorrow to have dinner. I am sure as I have more conversations and experiences over the next few weeks, the impact of my experience will unfold in new ways. I feel re-energized and motivated to work on my project and more. I plan to keep this blog throughout the school year, as my journey of life, adventure and learning about these topics will continue.